I think my sister wants to pinch my boyfriend...
Why?
We were cuddling, my sister came, digged me away and laid her beside him
I thought your sister is only two??
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could have been...
03:12 AM
female
Heeeeyy when you have to pee and you´re keeping it shut do have a waterballoon then?
08:25 AM
male
Girl please stop texting me any questions when you´re drunk and it´s in the middle of the night!! And NO?!? How stretchy do you think my foreskin is??
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awww.. what?
Don´t you think it´s funny how the person who you´re going to marry is on this earth as of right now?
Yeah, haha. That´s weird.
Don´t you ever wonder what they´re doing?
Nope, I already know, she´s texting me :)
AWWWWW
But she just went to bed. So I´m talking to you know :(
...
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in the bathrooms at work...
I whip out a tampon, but I drop it and it rolls under the stall to the next one.. which someone is in..
Im all AH FUCK needed that. How awkward. I freeze
They roll it back under.. Not a word is exchanged. I wait till they leave and pick it up
OH MY GOD! You HAVE to say that you took it out of your bag!! I thought you meant you whipped it out of your vag!!!
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let´s stay friends
Hey do you feel like meet again once?
For me it just was an one-off
Are you serious?
But hey let´s stay friends? :)
Really?
No! Fuck you!
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The hole Harry Potter shit sucks!
Hey be glad that I´m not allowed to perform miracles outside Hogwarts!
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the special bonding between women and shoes
My boyfriend wants me to litter my shoes!!
What shall I do with him?
He´s crazy!!
So tell him an emotional story bout every pair of shoes you have that he can understand your bonding to them.
Ok I can do it.. Should I cry then?
Yes but you´d also laugh once in a while and tell the happy times you had ;)
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and I already asked myself where my bra has gone..
And? Did anything spectacular happen yesterday?
No.. you just screamed "all blue things are getting doffed now" and thrusted your blue bra into my hand :D
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Just took the pill on the train and an elderly woman next to me meant full of cheer "so nice the young people nowadays still prevent" um a cheer for contraception!!
With your boy we´re all glad you´re preventing!
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after this.. for sure!
03:34 AM
What´s up tonight?
03:37 AM
I´m lying in bed and no Philip.. I don´t want to hump!
03:42 AM
Oh I think we´re drifting apart...
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I´m confused
I´d like a coke
Is Pepsi okay?
yeah, she´s fine. The surgery went well and she´s looking at a full recovery
fantastic. I can´t wait to see you two drop by here again. She´s a nice gal though she´s got an odd name. I´ll bring your coke around in just a minute.
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Do you have time?
not at the moment.. I´m in hospital
driving licence for 2 days and already in hospital?!
5 days!!!
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...
Let´s phone.. so I can tell you bout the plan :P
I´m just..
..um let´s say losing weight..
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Touché!
hahahaha my girlfriend told me you´re wearing Spongebob underwear hahahaha
If I were you I´d rather ask myself why your girlfriend knows what kind of boxershorts I´m wearing
you little sonofabitch! What do you wanna tell me??!
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Hey Ashley :) Do you have the hw for today?
Bro don´t ever text my girl like that again and disrespect our relationship. I know damn well hw is codeword for something else
Wtf? Man I can´t ask for hw a nigga trying to graduate
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