Just saw the hottest boy alive! *-*

Forget it. His constant boyfriend didn´t feel happy about it as I tried to flirt with him :o

MOM! I´m pregnant again! There must be something in the air!

yeah your fucking legs

Who are you? Someone changed all my contact names

What did they change my name to?

Batman

DON’T CHANGE IT BACK

But who the fuck are you?

I´m batman NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

How´d it go at the party yesterday?

No idea.. Haven´t seen any pictures yet

If your uncle asks you tomorrow what has happened today and why he has such a headache, tell him he ran into a street lamp.

WTF are you doing Dad??

Your mom and me had to carry him upstairs because he was so drunk. Unfortunately he slipped from our fingers and fell downstairs as stiff as a board. His head thudded on every step.. idiot!!

OMG what kind of family am I born into…

My dreams were shattered years ago

How many years ago?

How old are you son?

Darling? We have to talk about us…

Say no more! First I´m going to get the vodka

I really wonder who´s gonna forget my birthday.

Why? When's your birthday? :)

Today! -,-

OMG! I´m getting kidnapped by aliens! What should I do?

Take a towel with you!!!

That´s why I love you so much. You never ask me what the hell is going on with me and you´re always handing out good advices :D

I really don´t understand how others do this with flirting...

I´m even too shy to order some extra ketchup at Mc´Donalds

hahaha you get out of the car and it starts to piss down - this is what I call instant-karma :D

Sarah saw me standing in the rain and gave me her umbrella... We´re going to have a "cosy evening" now ;)

Are you serious??!?! :D

... karma

I broke up with Stephanie, only because of you my angel!

Aha,SO YOU BROKE UP WITH ME??

Fuck -,-

So how are you?

I´m ok, just ate a frozen pizza

don´t see what all the hype is about, because I chipped my tooth on it. Almost impossible to eat

I think it´s just supposed to be cold pizza not frozen

what? It literally comes frozen stupid

You´re supposed to cook it...

Imagine that! I woke up in a bush!

I know

Huh, why??

cause I laid you there :D

Get in touch with me once, please. Greets Mom

Touch.

Good.